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Where do I begin?

Scene: Tumblr dashboard. Character: me. Action: cruising… cruising… cruising… GRINDING FUCKING HALT.

Usually, my Tumblr dash has lots of lovely pretty things and poems and clothes and bits here and there about depression etcetera, and lots and lots of kitties.

Today: THIS.

Daddy'sstickerchartIt’s sort of apt that this contains the word “throw up” because that is what I’d like to do. Either that or just go completely hysterical, because let’s be honest I’m on the verge of that most of the time anyway.

Where do I even begin talking about all the things that are wrong with this?

1. MEN ARE NOT CHILDREN. They should not have to be taught or bribed with “rewards” for doing things that are necessary in any household and any equal partnership. I know many men – and women – who would find this belittling and offensive.

2. This reinforces negative stereotypes about men, women, relationships, and gender roles.

Men are indicated to be lazy, disinterested in their family, unhealthy, unclean, and constantly doing things their partner dislikes – so much so they have to be rewarded for NOT doing these things.

Women are indicated to be controlling and manipulative, the “cleaners” of the household, the main parent, a “nagger,” and interested in sex only as a bargaining tool.

Is this supposed to be funny? It’s not funny. It’s ridiculous and more than that, it’s damaging.

3. This is certainly not representative of any relationship I have been in, and it it were, I wouldn’t be staying in it. In fact, I was once accused of “nagging” and this was actually the nail in the coffin on that particular affair.

4. I fucking hate the term “dog house.” It suggests that women control men through punishment – which I guess must happen in the above relationship, as she is using it for something that won’t happen if he does what she wants.

5. THESE ARE JUST THINGS THAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO. If you have to bribe your partner into bathing your children or packing their lunches – seriously, you should spend more time talking to them and less time making charts.

6. I don’t even know what “baby sideburns” fucking means.

/end rant.

About writehandedgirl

Sarah is a writer who is passionate about social justice, feminism, politics, and cats. She is a columnist and poet and currently lives in Nelson. You can follow Sarah on Twitter (@_writehanded_) or read more of her writing at


3 thoughts on “Where do I begin?

  1. If we engage in an world of imagination it is probably for the best that a couple who would go along with this list are together. I imagine it would be in a country called Advertland since it seems to be based on the sort of drivel that ad people seem to think a normal life is based on.
    Possibly the father would run himself over with the lawn mower while the mother would be spraying air freshener around inside.
    The list manages to be sad and offensive in one hit, some achievement.

    Posted by Hamish Mack | December 12, 2013, 1:40 am
  2. I’m fairly certain no one should have a child with someone so irresponsible they need a star chart in order to act like a fucking adult. And I can’t say I’m surprised the “BJ” reward is the first to be attained… sigh.

    Posted by rosecollinsRose | December 12, 2013, 3:19 am
  3. Pathetic huh

    Posted by writehandedgirl | December 12, 2013, 3:24 am

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